Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
