problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I just threw up on my dentist
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
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