McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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