this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
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