i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
