i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
