I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
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