Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
