You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
two words...techno handjob
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
