Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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