He is an equal opportunity slut.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
