some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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