is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Can I color on your dick again?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
