There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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