Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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