you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
