I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
