We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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