I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
