we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
