this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
