the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
