return my video game
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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