I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I think a kid would responsible me up
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
