Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
