I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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