I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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