it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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