Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Randomize
