I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
