I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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