When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
