everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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