that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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