WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
