Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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