Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
We have so much sex to catch up on
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
