Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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