either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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