She said her name was "party"
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
