Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
where are my pants?
in the oven.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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