Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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