we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
