he puts the penis in happiness.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
