Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Randomize
