My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
