She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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