I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
