You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
It's Friday. Sex?
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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