u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
