i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
You're like the curious george of whores
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
