FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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