your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
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