awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
