stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
