Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
